A cheif's remorse
by CecilTheSnake
Summary: What happened on the boat after the boys were rescued. Why Roger snapped. Why Jack snapped. Closure I guess? (JackxRalph SimonxRoger Fluff)


_**This was written for school , I just added a bit of fluff. The disclaimer was for my teacher haha... Like plz don't tell my parents. Ha anyway enjoy snakies**_

Lord of the Flies Chapter 13:

A Chief's remorse

Ralph looked over the railing of the ship, sad memories of Simon filled his mind, he was so innocent, and wise, taken at the prime of his youth. Then Piggy, the friend he hadn't even bothered to learn the name of, crushed along with the conch. They had stayed, they were his real friends. He really wanted to stay in charge, but also to have positive relationships with the other boys. Even SamnEric had refused to come with Ralph the previous night. Simon was always there, he knew what should have been done, he was the first to realize the truth. Piggy was smart, rational, empathetic. Why do the good always have to meet the worst fates, some sort of sick irony Ralph supposed. Ralph allowed more bitter tears to fall, becoming one with the sea,like Simon's blood and body, like some shards from the conch and Piggy. Ralph's breaths shortened and his vision became obstructed with fat tears, longing for his closest friends to be next to him, to mourn the loss of their childish view of the world with him. How he longed to feel that again, to see the world in his long forgotten blindness, but no. The island finally faded behind the horizon, and Ralph felt a piece of him get torn away. He was leaving behind his innocence, Simon, Piggy, everything he had come to accept as normal.

He felt the deck behind him shake a little and he turned to face a shock of fiery red hair. Ralph willed himself not to wail, to remain strong in front of the ginger he had once admired. Jack looked different however, his mask of dirt and blood had been washed away by tears. He had been crying on the island, he knew that much, but those had been slow silent tears. Now his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and peering closer it looked as if he had been wiping them away in frustration. He looked like a lost puppy. He averted his eyes searching for words. Peering behind him all of the boys looked broken, most of the littluns were over near the hull of the ship whimpering and crying as they so often had on the island. Roger was away from everyone spying over the railing looking as if he was missing a piece of him, Roger had started out as a quiet choir boy who could barely introduce himself. The island had changed him in ways people back on the mainland wouldn't think possible. Roger had really snapped after Simon, there were rumours about them, but no one really knew what to think of the quiet moans from the forest resembling Simon's voice. The rest of the hunters were standing in a way similar to how Ralph was, looking on in silence. Ralph looked back to the broken looking redhead.

There was at least a 5 foot distance between them, but Ralph still wanted to put more distance between them. He so desperately wanted to believe there was some piece of his former self left, but he only saw a savage in front of him. His body read savage yes, however looking closer his eyes read, schoolboy. Ralph began to plan how he could escape Jack however had different plans, he took another step forward and hesitated, Ralph studied his face, without the paint covering everything he could read the look of distress and regret on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something but was holding back. After a long awkward pause, he finally stuttered out "Ralph I...I don't know what I...I'm sorry...I know you'll hate me forever but...I really am sorry. I just wanted for...for you to..." Jack trailed off his voice breaking. With a look of defeat in his own vocal cords and left frontal lobe he was about to turn away, much to Ralph's relief. However he turned and went to the railing a few feet over to Ralph's right, too close for Ralph's preference.

Jack looked over the railing and Ralph saw in his eyes the boy that he had been before the island, at first glance you would see only a savage red head, but having the relation Ralph had with him, he could see past those things. Something was different, was he really sorry? He saw the head boy, chapter chorister, the boy who took such pride is being able to sing C#. Ralph moved back to the railing and much to his surprize felt compelled to move closer. So he did, shocking Jack a bit, now there was less than 2 feet between them. Ralph could see more tears appearing in the corners of his eyes.

Jack took a deep breath and had a thoughtful look in his eyes, trying to put on a poker face, he failed miserably. His lip quivered but he spoke anyway

"I-I always tried to be tough. I just wanted to feel that sense of power. I always bossed my choir around because of that, they only listened because they had to...they didn't even like me...Not even Roger, he was the one who suggested that bloody vote on the first day. I really was scared, I couldn't even kill a baby pig for god's sake! Then...everything changed, I knew I'd lose that respect, so I put all of my effort into getting meat. I know it got out of control now, at the time...I think I really convinced myself we needed it. Then the paint, I felt strong, like I wasn't Jack Merridew, he was the head boy, the chapter chorister. I felt like a leader, like a hunter, untouchable. I really lost myself after that, I know because the other boys started to like me...to look up to me. I didn't lose that power hungry part though. Being head hunter wasn't enough, so I left. Then Simon...I knew it was him. I still needed to be tough so I told 'em it was the beast in disguise. Then Piggy, I hated him but...what if people find out? I'll be jailed, even if it was Roger, I influenced him. Then we tried to kill you...God Ralph, I'm so sorry, I know you won't believe me, I'm just a savage to you. But I am."

Jack thought for more words, then after a pause continued

"I was a hunter, the chief, nothing else. When I saw that naval officer though... It all came back. I had to cry, I hadn't cried since I tried to overthrow you. I think I did it all because I was scared."

Ralph didn't want to believe him, but his voice rang with sincerity. He saw a hunter, a savage, but he heard Jack. Jack took a shaky breath

"On the first day it was like we were friends, that was a rarity for me...I just wanted you...for you to...I just wanted you to like me."

That hit a nerve for Ralph and he finally spoke "I did. I did like you, that's why I suggested that you and the choir become hunters, because I liked you. Then you took things way too far, and you changed, I didn't know who you were. I was scared of who you had become, I wanted to be friends, really I did."

Jack looked at Ralph sadness radiated from his normally angry, icy blue eyes. He looked away and down to the water, he looked broken.

Ralph, feeling the Jack he knew returning, the Jack he wanted so desperately to be friends with, to lead alongside with him, moved closer. He hesitated before placing his hand on top of Jack's. Jack looked up and his eyes met Ralph's, Ralph looked down and saw their hands. Jack's hand clutched the railing just as hard as he held his spear. His knuckles were white from pressure and it shook from the unfamiliar feeling of human contact. Ralph's nails were bitten down, scabs formed from biting them past the quick. Ralph's fingers navigated under Jack's palm and flexed to give a reassuring squeeze. Jack tried to give a half smile but it was lost in a mix between a choke and a sob. He looked away pulling his hand from Ralph's, he turned leaning his side against the railing and covering his face. He shook, but Ralph didn't hear any cries.

"Jack, we... We don't have to say what really happened, it'd be better for everyone, we all killed Simon after all." Ralph couldn't believe what he was saying, but the guilt for Sion's death still consumed him, and Piggy's. If he had stopped Jack from leaving, he never would have stolen his glasses so Roger couldn't have pushed that blasted boulder on him because they wouldn't have even been there. If he had stopped Jack from leaving, he wouldn't have had that feast, and Simon would be alive. Both of his friends deaths led back to Jack, even the death of that child with the birthmark was Jack. He had said to build the fire more, to make it bigger, then the forest caught fire. However no matter how angry Ralph was at Jack for all of these things, he still admired him. On the first day the leadership he put forward was impressive to Ralph. He could make Ralph so furious and desperate at the same time. He could make him laugh even when he was ready to choke the life out of him. Like when he broke Piggy's glasses.

Ralph should have been laying the smack down on Jack, but seeing him so weak somehow upset Ralph. All he wanted to do was keep him from crying, it was almost like he wanted him to go back to being tough. Just to bring back some sense of normality. If that could be counted as normality, it should have upset Ralph that now it could be. It was like the feeling he had when he was no longer bothered by their filthy appearances. All that aside he felt himself once again approaching Jack. He put his hand on his back and tried to see his face. It was still buried in his hands however.

"Hey...It's going to be okay. We-we can tell the others to say they got lost...or sick. We'll figure it out, tonight we can get them together, like... one last assembly."

"Ralph...You don't have to forgive me. I don't expect you to."

"Who said I did?"

Jack looked to Ralph, who was smirking. Upping his sarcasm game he retorted "Who says I'm really sorry?"

The boys for the first time in months, looked at each other with shy liking. Ralph and Jack had a silent conversation with their eyes. Ralph finally decided to take the next step forward and wrapped his arms around the ginger's torso. Jack initially stiffened and then after a time, hugged back. After one moment of contemplation he leaned back and kissed Ralph. Plain and simple. Ralph didn't care, in fact he liked it and kissed back. their lips soon grew accustomed to each releasing for air, they held each other tighter. They stayed in their embrace for a while before Jack finally backed away. "Right..."He trailed off making his freckles behind a deep blush "We'll round up the boys and...plan I guess." Regaining his cocky demeanor he put in his last 2 cents, "And you'd better _never_ mention this to _anyone_!"

-Like 20 minutes later-

Ralph stood in front of a crowd of boys, all filthy and frightened. Being in this formation brought back terrible memories. "Alright boys, this will be our last assembly. We are gathered so we can decide what to do once we reach the mainland."

Jack intercepted "First things first, and this is non negotiable, what happened to Fa-er Piggy, Simon, and that other kid?" The boys were silent. Jack looked serious as he spoke again "That's right, we don't know, they simply wandered off...Alright? We mustn't ever, _EVER_ say what really happened or we'll be in more trouble than you could even imagine."

Ralph nodded and spoke again "Once we get to where we're going, I don't know where that is, we probably won't see each other as often, and if we do, don't avoid each other. We must live as if there was never any harsh feelings towards each other. We are simply a group of normal school boys. Understood?" The boys nodded. "Is there anything that needs to be said?" A few boys glanced around but nobody spoke "Any questions?" A littlun finally stood and walked to the front. Ralph knelt and listened to the child's whispers. "I-uh...R-Roger can you come up?" He did and Ralph stood to the side with him. Ralph hadn't really noticed before but this boy's eyes were never ending, soulless and deep. Frightening really. Ralph spoke lowly to him "They want to know why you killed Piggy. I don't know why he cares but- y-you don't have to answer." Roger shook his head and stood up front, after addressing the question he coldly stated that he went bonkers after Simon died, plainly stated that they were lovers and he didn't know what else to do. The boy's suspicions were confirmed and questions answered (that was the one lingering curiosity, why Roger went mad). Jack asked for any more comments, nothing and Ralph spoke again, for the last time "Alright, you're dismissed."

-A few hours later-

The boys were being sent off to cots that were set out for them, they had been given spare clothes that were far too big, but sufficed for now, to sleep in. As Ralph was headed toward one of the rooms he felt a hand grab his wrist. He turned to see the naked face of Jack Merridew. "Ralph...um...This ship is probably cold at night and...you're probably going to have nightmares right? So um...I was going to ask...well we slept together in the shelters and...would you bunk with me?...even just for tonight...because it's cold of course"

Ralph nodded and Jack followed him, he knew the whole 'cold' excuse was total bologna, he was scared. Ralph was too, no matter what feelings of anger he still held towards Jack, no matter how confused Jack made him, Ralph wasn't ready to sleep alone just yet. The other boys would surely do something similar. All of the horrors he had experienced that day would surely lead to the worst nightmares yet. The ones on the island could never compare to the impending terrors he would see in his subconscious. Jack would have nightmares too, they were only boys, he was scared. Still unwilling to admit it. But that was Jack. The hunter was respected, the boys feared him, even Ralph did eventually. He seemed to be unfazed by everything. But Ralph knew.

The boys slept in the same cot, shoulder to shoulder. The warmth of the other felt comforting to the other, both boys had a relatively broken sleep, but luckily the other's presence consoled them. Even if Ralph's nightmares often showcased Jack with a spear standing over him, anyone next to him helped pull him out of the horrible fantasy. After a few waking ups, Jack wrapped an arm protectively over Ralph and pulled him close, whispering with lips just touching his ear "I've got you, don't worry." A sweet kiss was placed on his neck and Ralph smiled, falling back into a dreamless sleep. The rocking of the ship surely had something to do with their inability to stay asleep, but the main reason had to have been the chief's remorse. They both knew they may never sleep well again. They wouldn't have each other to sleep next to back on the main land. They may or may not stay friends, that was uncertain. Both boys hoped they would. The future isn't determined on hope though, is it?

 _ **(a/n This story shows Jack as a little more vulnerable as in the book, I did this because I believe when the naval officer came and the boys were crying,the reality of what he did sunk in and he broke down. Also from what I observed, Jack was putting up a tough front to protect himself in the beginning, then lost himself. I also saw that Jack wanted Ralph and the other boys to accept him, so be a person of power. Whilst climbing the rock in ch 1 I saw that Jack really wanted Ralph to like him, I also saw this when Ralph made Jack the headhunter, it even went so far to say they smiled at each other with shy liking, at another point it stated they stared at each other baffled in love and hate. I interpreted this as a failing friendship. I believe that afterwards Jack would have tried to make amends with Ralph, and Ralph would have been relieved to see that he had found who he was before, to give him some hope in humanity. I realize they both come a little out of character but this is honestly what I believe would have happened after.)**_


End file.
